Hollowtop Smoke Signals

Some innovtive thoughts on simplifying mid-March, Tri-City confusion

It all seemed so confusing. On March 11, at 10:15 pm, the long nights of winter ended in the Tri-City (Harrison, Pony and Norris) region, and daylight saving time began. It was as though someone had just sucked one hour of each resident’s life away and there wasn’t a dad-blamed thing anyone could do about it. Next, on March 17, Saint Patrick’s Day served as the unofficial cabin fever blowout party. As if that wasn’t enough, on March 20, the first day of spring (aka-the spring equinox) arrived, which is one of only two days of the year in the northern hemisphere that has equal night and daylight hours. As a result of such information overload, many residents weren’t sure if they were supposed to spring ahead, party hardy, lose an hour or stand an egg on end, on any given day. Obviously, the situation cried out for a clarifying solution.

Then, out of nowhere, an idea occurred to me that could clear up a lot of confusion. In fact the notion was so simple; I was surprised no one had thought of it previously. Specifically, I thought to myself, “Next year in the Tri-Cities, why not have the initiation of daylight saving time and the first day of spring take place on the same day, March 20^th?

Still, it’s highly unlikely spring-like conditions will arrive that very day. As evidence, last week on the Butte TV channel, the meteorologist presented a long-range weather prediction. Said report claimed our region can expect lower than normal temperatures and snow--through May! Indeed, as I remember it, that’s much the same kind of “late spring” we endured last year. So, in a concession to the more likely weather conditions, I further proposed that we combine the words “spring” and “winter” and dub the new event--“Sprinter Equinox Day.”

By so doing, Tri-City inhabitants would have something less confusing, yet at the same time, more momentous to look forward to next March. Not only would they be able to celebrate the wishful arrival of spring, but local citizens would also have more daylight in which to watch it snow. Better yet, that much situational variation, in a 24-hour span, would be ample cause for an area-wide, cabin fever blowout celebration that would rival even Saint Patrick’s Day.

For example, Harrison could schedule a March 20, “Sprinter Equinox Day Parade.” In recognition of the lost hour, the festivities would begin at precisely the 10:15 pm, daylight saving, time-travel implementation. Likely, a snowplow would be needed at the head of the procession to clear a path down the main street. Behind the plow, parka-garbed majorettes (twirling ice-fishing rods instead of batons) would precede a marching band. Then, a soul-stirring cavalcade of snowmobiles, pulling ice-fishing huts, would comprise the parade’s center piece. Lastly, the town’s light-flashing, siren-sounding fire engines (staffed with firemen tossing plastic flowers to delusional spectators) would bring up the rear.

Ultimately, like Saint Patrick’s Day’s corn beef and cabbage, Harrison’s Sprinter Equinox Day could even have its own signature, post-parade feast of smoked whitefish and sauerkraut. Lastly, during the final additional hour of sunlight, everyone could drink a green beverage to symbolically hurry the actual greening up of spring, which would occur in about two months. Now, if only the village elders will approve my innovative and simplifying suggestions. I’ll keep ya posted.

© Art Kehler

Art lives in Harrison, Montana. His essays, stories, and poetry have been published in newspapers, journals, literary magazines, and on-line magazines.