Cowboy Poetry

My missing tooth, right where I smile, had caused me so much grief. No one looked me in the eye. They’d rather check my teeth.

So, I called my favorite dentist. Yes, the one who made the hole. Who charged me half a pay check. Now I’m broke. Well bless his soul.

That day my favorite dentist found a tooth to fit my mouth. He said he’d pulled it early from a patient who went south.

Did I hear my dentist say that he had pulled it from the dead? I had to stop the nitrous. It was messing with my head.

I muffled out the words. “Please hold the nitrous for a while.” The dentist held a mirror and said, “Let’s check out your new smile.”

He said, “Your tooth is really meant for superficial use. You’ll take it out when eating. It can’t handle harsh abuse.”

I shook his hand and thanked him. Then said, “Put it on my bill.” I’m sure I heard “Ka Ching” or maybe, “Sure as heck I will!”

I’d only had my tooth for just an hour or maybe two. When I stopped to eat a burger, pulled my tooth so I could chew.

I finished up my lunch and threw the garbage in the can. Then I walked into Cabela’s like a dang important man.

But something sure was missing. Then it hit me like a flash. I’d gathered up my brand-new tooth and thrown it in the trash.

So, I turned to dumpster diving. I just had to find my tooth, when a lady handed me a Ten. Said, “Hope you’ll find God’s truth.”

I didn’t give a second look. I’d dang near lost all hope. And then I saw my brand-new tooth stuck to a bar of soap.

So, that day I learned two lessons. Keep your teeth out of the trash and start up dumpster diving. You could make some extra cash!

Bryce Angell